The Lion's Pride
by Discordia the Goddess of Irony
Summary: Part of a trilogy that I'm workin on. This details Squall's take on events two years after the end of the game. Rating may change for language later on.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Here's the second part of my Final Fantasy VIII trilogy. It chronicles Squall's part of the story. Sorry it's so short. As with all of my fics, I do not own the characters, company, etc. Please read and review.

  
  
  
  


I never asked to be Headmaster. Everyone just assumed that I was willing to take responsibility for Balamb Garden. They assumed that I wanted to be a leader. Even Rinoa thought that it would be good for me. I can't abandon everyone now that I'm in charge, but sometimes I just feel trapped. This isn't what I really want. 

  


The fact remains that I'm no good for any other kind of life. I was trained to be a mercenary. I can live with my position, but I'd rather not. Cid deserved to retire and live a peaceful life with Edea, but that's all I really wanted: a happy life with the woman I love. That goal just seems to get farther and farther away.

  


Cid left quite a challenge for me to face: the entire Garden, the political demands made on it, and its most troublesome student. Seifer Almasy will be a thorn in my side until the day I die. When Cid offered, or rather forced me to take, the position of Headmaster, I at least took comfort in knowing that Seifer would be leaving the Garden in less than a year. Cid, however, had other plans. He extended the length of time that a student could spend in the Garden. Now, all students have until the age of twenty-one to graduate SeeD before the Garden can force them to leave. He still has a year. If I had known that Cid would make that change, I'd have never accepted this job. Why he made that change, I'm not sure. From the way he looked at me when he told me though, I think he might have felt _sorry_ for Seifer.

  


For two years, I've watched for the chance to expel Seifer, and for two years he's caused only minor disturbances. He's waiting, biding his time. Now that Rinoa is living in the Garden, I'm even more worried. Whatever once happened between them, I've never asked. From Seifer I expect only lies, and from Rinoa . . . well, I'm not sure what I expect.

  


It's odd. I love her as much as ever, more if possible. She just seems so distant sometimes, like she's not really here. I worry. What if Ultimecia possesses her again? I couldn't stand to lose her, but watching her like a jealous husband is tiresome, especially since we aren't married. I'd be happy with a small wedding today if she'd agree to it. She just keeps telling me that she's not ready for marriage yet. She seemed ready enough when I proposed, but now . . . she's hesitant. I can't understand it. 

  


Even worse are the doubts that plague my mind at night. I've never been able to sleep well. My dreams always seem ready to choke me, drown me in sorrow or memory . . . or fear. I've opened my heart to her, and she has the power to crush it. Constant doubt is starting to wear me down. I look at her, and I don't see the beautiful, carefree girl I fell on love with. I wonder if she's unfaithful, if she still loves me, if she _ever_ loved me. I can't ask her and risk seeing the hurt in her eyes, but I can't endure this much longer. For the most part, Rinoa seems to love me, but I've caught her glancing at Seifer with a look that I've seen on Quistis's face before. She told me it's the look of a woman wondering what might have been.

Something's about to change; I can feel it. I've been having trouble sleeping. My dreams, despite the fact that I never remember them, seem to be telling me that something's coming. Whether that's good or bad, I can't tell. Maybe Rinoa will finally soften up again, or maybe I'll finally get rid of Seifer. As long as everyone in the Garden is safe, I can be happy . . . for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Wow, how long has it been since I updated this one? Sorry, but I've been uber busy for the past, oh four years. But especially the past few months. So, here I am with another chapter of angsty goodness. Like Quistis' story, I'm changing the format of this one slightly. It's still limited to Squall's perspective, but I'm including a third person narrator, since I don't really care for writing descriptions in first person. Anyhow, read, review, whatever.

  
  
  


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Squall tossed in his sleep, unable, as he had been for the past two years, to rest for more than ten minutes at a time. Before, the dreams had only been about Elle and how she'd left him as a child. But lately, his dreams had become far worse, far more disturbing. The odd thing was that he rarely remembered any of the details. He knew that his dreams were somehow unsettling, but he also knew only that they kept him awake at night. With a sigh, he sat up, staring at the clock and wondering if he should simply get out of bed. Exhaustion plagued him constantly, although he did his best to conceal that fact. No one truly noticed, unless perhaps it was Quistis, whose sharp observations were keenly attuned to the moods of the Headmaster. Whether anyone else noticed it or not, Squall fully understood his dependence on his former instructor. The sad truth was that she had always known more about the Headmaster and the details of his occupation. In Squall's opinion, she could probably do a better job than he himself could. 

  


Squall glanced across the room to the small desk, cluttered with papers he had taken from the office and his laptop computer. Even in his private room, Squall kept few personal items on display. The sole exception was a photograph taken of him shortly after the defeat of Ultimecia. The faintest trace of a smile graced his features as he caught sight of the silver frame in the dim light. Though he couldn't make out the details of the photo, he could still remember the circumstances surrounding it. He and Rinoa had been on the balcony outside the ballroom watching the stars and it was then they had their first true kiss. The photograph revealed a rare candid glimpse of Squall, still locked in his embrace with Rinoa. What the photo didn't reveal was that he had nearly attacked the photographer, a very apologetic Selphie. Rinoa had found the whole affair quite amusing, making Selphie promise to give her a copy. Squall looked away, letting his eyes trail over the other items in his room. His gunblade remained within its case, laid on a short table like a sword on a sacrificial altar. It had been far too long since he had used the weapon, but he really had little time for fighting.

_'No wonder Cid was so soft around the middle,'_ he mused bitterly, _'he probably hadn't left his desk in years. The only thing keeping me thin right now is the stress. It's not like I eat that much anymore.'_

  


Squall rolled onto one side, hoping that he could get just two hours of sleep. Deep in heart, however, he knew better that to trust to hope, especially on such matters. The dreams would overtake him, wrenching him from whatever semblance of rest he could manage. If only he knew what they were about, he might have been able to resolve them. In all of his tossing, his mind never once turned to the newest problem that he faced. He simply didn't have the energy to concern himself with Esthar's demands or the mysterious young SeeD they had sent as a representative. With an hour left before he had to return to his duties, Squall's eyes shut and he fell asleep. 

  


~ ~ ~

  


The week moved somewhat uneventfully. After the incident between Seifer and Leona, the two seemed to have no more problems. At the very least, Squall didn't put much thought or concern into it. He spent the first few days of his week simply dealing with the mundane problems of the Garden. After four days, however, he remembered the SeeD and her request. And as simple as it should have been to call Esthar's president and discuss the matter with him, the issue was also entirely too complicated for Squall. It had been more than six months since Squall had really spoken with his father, and even then, the conversation had been mostly political. After years of not knowing his parents, Squall simply couldn't adjust to the change. There was the additional problem of his resentment toward Laguna. Besides his disapproval of his father's attitude and comportment, Squall was still hurt that he'd been left in an orphanage. The fact that Laguna had known nothing of his child's birth or the death of his wife played only a small part in Squall's reasoning, which was, at heart, irrational. In trying to discuss the matter with Quistis, Squall had found that his resentment was not only irrational but one of his many safeguards against emotional attachment. 

  


Rather than make the effort to contact his father to discuss the possibilities of the new Garden, Squall turned to Quistis. She had, after all, helped him with so many things before and was really an unofficial adviser. She knew how to handle his moods and could often suggest the optimal way of dealing with everything.

  


_'Quistis should have gotten this job, not me. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Even worse, I hardly care about the outcome of my decisions. Why they chose me, I'll never know. Just because everyone looks up to me isn't really much of a reason.'_

  


Quistis, true to form, only led Squall in a direction that would result in his making the decision on his own. She never gave him an outright command, preferring to make suggestions and ask leading questions that would in turn force Squall to decide for himself. _'And that's why I always ask her. She knows my mind about as well as I do. She knows what choice I want to make and lets me reach it on my own. I just wish Rinoa would be as understanding.'_

  


The thought struck him out of nowhere. True, he and Rinoa had been having difficulties of late, but never had he compared her to Quistis. That had always represented a dangerous path for him, knowing Rinoa's somewhat possessive attitude and Quistis' feelings for him. Yet the thought remained with him. After all, Quistis had known him for far longer than Rinoa, giving her the advantage of being able to read Squall like a book. Rinoa herself had a similar capability, but not quite to the extent of Quistis. Moreover, Quistis was superior in her ability to determine Squall's feelings on the myriad political issues surrounding his duties as Headmaster, as well as the problems he faced in running the Garden.

  


_'Leave it be, Leonhart. You'll only create more trouble than you can handle with that issue. Regardless of Quistis' feelings, you're with Rinoa. Even if Rinoa has been distant lately, that's no reason to doubt her feelings. Is it?'_

  


The doubts plaguing his mind never really left him, but he had learned to ignore them. Seifer seemed uninterested in causing trouble, despite his knack for doing so, and Squall was honestly tired of their rivalry. For all his anger and vengeful posturing, he was sick of trying to prove that he was better than Seifer, or anybody else for that matter. His fighting spirit was subdued, fading, and he just didn't care anymore. All he wanted was to be happy, but several hundred students, a few world leaders, and his own devotion to duty made that an impossible dream, that and his inability to understand just why Rinoa had suddenly become so distant. Having decide on the fate of Esthar Garden, Squall decided that it would be best to see if he could affect his own fate.

  


Squall left his office early that day, leaving his meeting with Leona to wait until later. He didn't need to make a decision for another couple of days, so why not let it wait? Rinoa was helping Selphie with a class for the next couple of hours, so Squall decided to prepare a quiet and romantic evening for the two of them. It had been a while since their last romantic evening together, and Squall felt the need to talk to Rinoa. He decided on a small restaurant in Balamb for dinner and a walk on the beach. With any luck, Rinoa would be willing to talk about their almost two year engagement. By the time Rinoa and Selphie finished cleaning up and dealing with the students, Squall had arranged everything and was waiting patiently outside the classroom. 

  


"Hey Squall," Selphie called in her usual bright tone. "What're you doing out of the office?" Squall smiled faintly at her joke, remaining in a casual spot against the wall.

  


"How much do you like your job, Selphie? Because I can replace you." despite the serious expression on his face, Squall intentionally let the expression in his eyes soften. Selphie responded by sticking her tongue out at the Headmaster and elbowing Rinoa in the side.

  


"Rinoa will stick with me, right?"

  


Rinoa glanced at Selphie with a tired smile. "Yeah, I'll take your side. We can't let Squall pick on us girls, now can we?"

  


Squall's lips twisted upward in a faint smile as he reached out an arm to Rinoa. She hesitated for a moment before allowing Squall to embrace her, resting her head against his chest. "Yes Selphie, I'm out of the office, and it feels good. So why don't you run along and find Irvine or something? I'm sure he's looking for you."

  


Selphie opened her mouth as if to respond but thought better of it and after sticking her tongue out once more, she turned on her heel and left. She turned back once to wave goodbye to Rinoa. With Selphie gone, Squall turned his attention back to Rinoa. Gently, he reached down to brush a lock of hair back from her face, gazing lovingly into her eyes as he did so. With a sigh, he pressed his lips softly to her forehead. Rinoa barely moved, allowing him to kiss her forehead and cheek with hardly a response. When he finally gazed directly into her eyes, Rinoa offered a weak and tired looking smile.

  


"Are you alright, Rin? You don't seem well."

  


"I'm fine, just a little tired is all. What are you doing here?"

  


Squall grinned. "I've got a surprise for you," he whispered. "How would you feel about dinner for just the two of us an a stroll on the shore?"

  


Rinoa considered for a moment, obviously not as eager for the night together as Squall. After several seconds, she obliged. "Just let me take a shower and change," she requested.

  


"Not a problem," Squall murmured kissing the top of her head even as she was moving to leave. He watched as she retreated down the hall, sighing to himself before pushing off of the wall. It was then that he noticed Seifer hovering uneasily in the doorway of a nearby classroom. He made no attempt to leave or deny that he had been standing there.

  


"Is there something I can help you with, Almasy?" Squall growled defensively. 

  


Seifer raised his hands innocently and shook his head. "Not at all _Headmaster_. I was just about to leave class but decided that it wouldn't be very considerate if I interrupted your little scene there. I daresay Rinoa seemed somewhat unenthused about the prospect of spending dinner with you, though."

  


Squall narrowed his eyes, approaching Seifer. "You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you?"

  


Seifer approached Squall, obviously unintimidated. As he neared the Headmaster, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know the specifics, but I can guess at the general details. You're in for a rough time, my friend. Trust me." Without saying another word, Seifer passed by, stopping only when Squall called to him.

  


"What's that supposed to mean? You're not threatening me, are you?"

  


The bittersweet smile on his rival's face disarmed him. _'What the hell is he up to?'_

  


"No, Squall, I'm not threatening you. I'm trying to warn you. Just be careful with her."

  


Seifer turned and left, not allowing Squall the time to confront him further. Only when Seifer was gone did his words sink in. _'A rough time, huh? I've been engaged for the past two years. How much rougher can it get?' _Squall glanced up the hallway to where Seifer had been. _'Oh well, no time to worry about that now. I should probably go wait for Rin.'_

  


Rinoa took her time getting ready, but for Squall, the wait was well worth it. He played the perfect gentleman, escorting Rinoa to the parking garage and opening the door to one of the vehicles for her. For a while, she seemed to be a little less preoccupied and actually struck up a conversation with him at the restaurant. Her topics, however remained somewhat shallow, mostly dealing with his week. Once they were finished with their meal, Squall payed the bill and led Rinoa to the shore. Taking her hand in his, he walked slowly, enjoying the sounds of the ocean on the shore.

  


"Rin, have you put any thought into when you want to get married?"

  


Rinoa stopped and gazed at him, biting her lower lip in thought. "Squall, I thought we'd gone over this. I'm just not ready for marriage. I'm not even twenty."

  


Squall narrowed his eyes, searching hers for any sign of dishonesty. _'Hyne, I can't even tell if she's lying to me or not.' _Gently, he reached up to stroke her cheek with his palm and fingers. _'Why won't she just talk to me? I'm supposed to be the quiet one. I thought I could share anything with her, but she won't even tell me what's wrong.'_

  


"Look Squall, I just don't know if it's a good idea to get married yet. We're both so young, and well, you're always occupied with your job. You don't really have time for a wedding and certainly not for a honeymoon."

  


"That doesn't matter to me. All I want is to be able to say that I was lucky enough to marry you. Rin, please understand, I'll have as elaborate or as simple a wedding as you want. I can take time off from work. I'm sure Quistis could handle things for a week or two. And we could spend a week in Winhill or Timber if that's what you wanted."

  


At the mention of Quistis' name, Rinoa bristled, though she said nothing in response for several moments. Finally she turned to gaze earnestly into Squall's eyes. "Please, Squall, I just can't deal with this right now. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I've been helping Selphie with her classes. She _is_ a new teacher after all. Besides, you know I love you, so why worry about when we get married? Plus I have to worry about my father calling me all the time, harassing me about when I'm coming home, what a bad idea it is for me to be around SeeD, why I should go to Esthar and talk to the scientists there . . . it just goes on and on with that man. So if it's alright with you, I'd just like to go back and try to get some rest."

  


"Whatever," he muttered, shaking his head slightly as he looked at her with lovesick eyes. 

_'Something's wrong. I just know there's something wrong. I just wish she'd tell me what.' _

They returned to the Garden without any incidents and with no further conversation. Rinoa practically fell asleep in the car and resisted Squall's initial attempts to dislodge her from the seat. To be safe, Squall escorted Rinoa to her room and gave her a soft kiss goodnight. He couldn't help but notice the faint disappointment glimmering in her eyes, but he decided to ignore it for the time being. When he finally collapsed on his bed, the doubts and fears that always plagued him overtook his mind. He needed to talk to someone, but he had no idea who would listen. _'Quistis would listen, but Rinoa would be furious if she found out I talked to Quisty. I'm not about to speak about this to Zell, and Seifer would probably just laugh.' _Why he even thought to speak with Seifer eluded him. There were no other options, and the events of the night had exhausted him. It took time before Squall could fall asleep, but when he finally did, he was granted respite from the dreams that had haunted him and the sweet embrace of oblivion.

  



End file.
